uNNeCeSSaRY CRiSiS...!!!

The 2nd semester final examination is just around the corner, but problems and crises just suddenly fall on me.ivanjaya.net

But before I say anything, I just want to let you know that I cut my hair earlier today and it went badly wrong. So, everybody (especially Adam) is laughing at me at the moment. ivanjaya.net But it's okay because I know my hair will grow back, I just have to be patient with it. I'll try to style my hair so that it will look less funny. ivanjaya.net

So, the problem that I'm facing right now is the problem that my family has been facing since the few years ago. Being the remembrance, I can remember things as if they just happened yesterday. Our family's problem is my Dad, the so called name that I've been bringing everywhere. It's not that I'm not being grateful of having him as a father, but there's a non-stop crisis since the year 2003 which caused by him. If the crisis is different, then I might not be as tired as this but it is the same crisis over and over again till the year 2010, or maybe in the future. It's about my Dad and women. ivanjaya.net

My Mom called me few weeks ago telling me that my Dad has another woman. So, I thought to myself, not again. I laughed when I heard the news from my Mom because it's what I've been anticipated since the day my parents got back together and it has finally happened.ivanjaya.net My Dad has been having 'another woman' since the year 2003 with different women, like I mentioned earlier. The first time he went 'koo-koo' with a woman named Anie, which was his so-called first love. I was the one who found out about my Dad having an affair as I accidentally checked on his text messages stored in his Inbox. Then, whenever my Dad went crazy because of other women, he will somehow sacrifice a lot of his fortune for the so-called another lover which result the whole family in facing bankruptcy (not literally).ivanjaya.net

When my parents got divorced on the year 2007, it was because of another 'another woman' named Anne. He said he fell for her because she has the resemblance of his first love Anie, which I thought was bull because there are big differences between the both of them. My Mom didn't agree with my Dad wanting to have Anne as his second wife, so he threatened my Mom of having a divorce. My Mom was in a dead end, a dilemma between a divorce or allowing my Dad to marry another. In the end, my parents got a divorce for the 2nd time (the first divorce happened when I was 3 months old, where my Dad accidentally divorced my Mom out of anger).ivanjaya.net

When my Dad finally got what he wanted, he suddenly lost interest in Anne, where he suddenly found Anie, again. For the whole year of 2007, my Dad didn't even give us (the children) a cent for our nafkah. Luckily, my Mom has her own job. If not, I think we'll be forced to quit school or even worse kicked out from the house for not being able to pay for everything. They eventually got back together during December 2007 which made their divorce almost a year where my Dad apologized for his mistakes and promised to change. I was angry at my Mom for getting back together with my Dad behind my back with the support of my brother, because I know well how much my Mom had suffered, but I just don't understand why my Mom always has a soft spot for my Dad. I told everybody that my Dad will never ever change but at that time nobody believed what I said.ivanjaya.net

Now, my Dad is crazy with another woman again named Yen. And my anticipation of us facing another bankruptcy has just come true. My Dad has just sold our car, a black MyVi to my aunt because he doesn't have enough money to pay for the car as he has debts everywhere as he spent his money (credit card to be specific) not for his family, but for another woman. Since we had our first car (Wira, then Iswara, then Landcruiser, then Kenari and now MyVi), we've been changing cars because my Dad never had enough money to pay for the monthly payment as he used all his money for his 'another woman'. It's not that he couldn't afford it from the very first place, but he spent unnecessarily for another woman, not even his family.ivanjaya.net

I just don't know why my Dad never understood why his children (except me) ran away and went to boarding school. They did that because they can't even stand to be in a room alone with my Dad because of what he had done. I couldn't imagine my 13 year-old brother would have the feeling of punching my Dad in the face. My Mom told me luckily our house is under her name, if not we might be forced to live under the bridge near our house.ivanjaya.net

I know this problem won't affect me in any way possible because I was sitting for my PMR when my parents got divorce and I was happy they did it. It's just that it made me freakingly sad thinking that when I come home on the 24th March there will be no car fetching me from the airport. I love that car so much, as I was the who paid much attention to it when my Dad neglected it even though I know it wasn't me who paid for the monthly payment but I was too attach to the car. I brought the car to school, I brought the car for service, I brought the car to car-wash to get it clean.

I'm just glad that I'm the one who is facing this problem. Because I know, fellow readers. If it were you to face and live in this kind of family, you'll commit suicide in the first place.

Ya ALLAH, when will my Dad change...???ivanjaya.net

10 comment(s):

Cho Hyo In said...

hey iz... let's pray (lots and lots) for ur dad 2 change ea...
you have my respect ever since i know you. ^__^ (dun wanna mention y. you probbly know y alrdy.haha)
-kay-

Iz said...

i dunno la kay...i just lost my hope already...we've been giving him so many chances so many times already but he never prove to us that he really change...

Anonymous said...

hey iz.. it's best if u go talk 2 ur dad..he might listen to u.. i know ur feeling as i faced d same thing ur facing a few yrs ago, so i know.. all i did was just slow talk with my dad alone. he may seem lyke he's not listening but he actually is.. sumtimes adult needs to learn through his sons and daughters

& keep praying to Allah coz He knows wat is best 4 His ummah..(pergh..cm ceramah agama..hehe..)all the best!

-farah sofia-

didi dido said...

father....
why they have to be so selfish ?
hurmmmm ;'(

Iz said...

Farah: thanks...but my Dad is different u know when he went koo-koo for another woman, which I know his so-called relationship won't last long...in the end, his family who's the one who got hurt, not even himself...as so me, i got hurt financially...

didi: i dunno la didi, maybe they thought they are 'the leader' so they think that they can make whatever decision they want and everybody must follow...

Anonymous said...

ouh dear .. if i was in your place i would resent my dad so much. daughters are emotionally attached to their mother, so they would take it differently. And i hate guys who 'play three sticks' with other woman!
~th!ck~

Iz said...

th!ck, i think my other siblings already are resenting him for what he's done...

the-only-Alyaa.Jamaludin said...

iz!!! this entry made me sad.
i didn't expected that u've been through a lot of prob.
be strong k. just keep hoping that he will change someday.

Iz said...

thanks alyaa...i somehow feel immune to these kind of things already...that's why i'm not sad at all, i'm just disappointed...

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