FRuSTRaTioNS...!!!

written by Iz

Few days ago have been pretty frustrating for me. Not because of workloads whatsoever, but it's more to peer pressure.

I'm not saying that my friends are bad, but peer pressure will always be around no matter how good your friends are. Few weeks ago, things have been pretty hectic. The re-staging of Whoa! Willow!!, assignments and many things I needed to complete.

When things are just unbearable, you really need a medium to let it out. In this case, I'm using my blog as a way to release the tension that I've been keeping since forever.

Note that I will be very honest in my post this time, so for those of you who are reading right now, thousand apologies from me as I'm just another peculiar human being.

I know I'm the class rep, but please have some effort for yourself guys...!!! Please save lecturer's number when they gave their number to the whole class. Just because I have every lecturers' number, it doesn't mean it's okay for you to have it anytime you want, from me. Obviously, you didn't even care when the lecturer was talking in front of the class.

I know I'm the class rep, but please have some effort to have your own class schedule...!!! We've been given the class schedule since the very first day of our first meeting with Mr Shah on 16th November 2009. I've been telling you that I will ALWAYS inform you if there are any changes with our schedule, postponed classes, replacement classes whatsoever. But that doesn't seem to effect you in any way of your life, then you'll always come to me and ask me again and over again, "Iz, where is the class?" I mean, why do you want to ask the question that you already know the answer? Ask me once, I consider it as you wanted confirmation from me, ask me twice, it's depressing.

I know I'm the class rep, and I don't mind spending my prepaid credit for all of you so that you could get the latest updates from me. But it seems like I have just wasted my prepaid credit for nothing, because you'll come again to me and ask me stupid questions. Ask me again about things I've sent to your cell phones...!!!

I know I'm the class rep, but it doesn't mean that I'm your alarm clock...!!! Waking up every morning for attending 8.30am classes is everybody's responsibility. Not because I'm your class rep, I need to wake you up every morning. I know I always the earliest to get up, but it doesn't mean that I will always wake you up. You don't even have the effort to set your alarm and get up yourself. I mean, it's okay if you are really tired and don't hear the alarm then I can help to wake you. But if you yourself don't have the effort to wake up, then what makes me have the effort for you to wake you up?

I know I'm the class rep, but it's not my fault if you get something unexpected the next time you come to class because you didn't attend the previous class because you were busy playing game all night. And then all you know was to save your ass when the lecturer asks you what you have been up to and why didn't you attend the previous classes 3 times in a row.

I know I'm the class rep, but it's not my fault if we have to extend the hours for extra or replacement classes. All you have in mind is to go back home every weekends. Now you tell me, what is the actual reason we come to UiTM Shah Alam and participate in ASASI TESL program? Is it to go back every weekends and complain everytime we have to stay for the weekend? Hell, if you want to talk about going back home, I only go back home once in a semester and I never complain because my house is in Sabah. If I want, I can always go back to Sabah whenever I want. You said you miss your family, don't you think I do too? I can always cancel my plan if more important thing come up, why can't you do the same?

I know I got Band 4 for MUET (which is something that I'm not happy with), but do you think I like seeing you got Band 3? I too would really love to have you for B. Ed TESL and you're acting like it was our fault that you didn't get through. Hell, even I got Band 4 it doesn't mean I have confirmed my position in B. Ed TESL. I mean, we were devastated with the whole MUET's band thingy but enough is enough. Don't blame the stage if you can't dance, don't blame the microphone if you can't sing.

I love being a class rep, I love to have this kind of responsibility, but things can just be really hard if you don't give me your full co-operations. Adam told me the reason people are being like this is because they are spoiled by me, because I'm such a good class rep. Being a university student, you can't just rely on people to get your things done. This is university, you have to do everything by your own. Imagine if you have a class rep that always tells you the wrong info, a class rep that always not around to handle your classes and a class rep that always don't know what to do next, a class rep that is impossible to be contacted by the lecturers and a class rep that always fails to get a venue for your classes to be held? I'm not saying that I'm good, but I need your co-operation to have effort for yourself. Doesn't mean I'm your class rep, I must do everything for you.

I hope that after reading this, you would get some self-consciousness and realize that. I don't expect you to respect me, because you don't even respect the lecturers. I just want you to know, you don't have to understand what I'm going through.

Once again, my apology to all of you. I'm just telling you the truth and yes, truth hurts.