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I've mentioned earlier that I want to try writing a story, so this is it. Just a prologue. I don't have a title for this story yet but it will soon. Please leave your comment for the newbie writer, which is me, okay? Thanks! - Iz
He lied on the floor, bleeding and helpless. The athame, a signature knife for demons was still buried in his stomach. He knew that this day would come but he thought he could handle it. How could he not prepare himself for this? The only thing he could do was blasting the demon with electrical discharge from his right hand that was later placed on the wound. As he saw the demon disintegrated to ashes, his whole life flashed before his eyes.
He thought about the sons he had. Three of them. He could still remember every single bit of memory watching them grew up, raising them into the men they had become. He remembered them all: the first word, the first step, teaching them how to ride bicycles, kindergarten, elementary school, high school, girl problem and guy problem for his middle son, graduations and the list went on. But the most important thing was their first discovery of their powers. They were perfect for him, he could not possibly care about anything more than his sons. The only thing he could not understand was why his sons never got along.
He tried to move but to no avail. Somehow, he could sense that the life in him was slowly fading. He attempted to scream for help but he choked. Slowly, he looked at the corner of the living room that he was in. Sitting next to the floor lamp was an old wooden chest. He pulled out his left hand as if he was trying to grab the chest. He let out a small chuckle. He didn’t know what was so funny but that was the only thing he could do, given the circumstance. He was perplexed that he could hold it this long before dying.
His heart pumped slower. Every second took his life away from his body. At this point, he could be drowning in his own blood. He lost so much blood he knew there was nothing he could do. Looking straight at the old wooden chest as he let out his final breath, he said “Sons, I’m sorry.”
He lied on the floor, bleeding and helpless. The athame, a signature knife for demons was still buried in his stomach. He knew that this day would come but he thought he could handle it. How could he not prepare himself for this? The only thing he could do was blasting the demon with electrical discharge from his right hand that was later placed on the wound. As he saw the demon disintegrated to ashes, his whole life flashed before his eyes.
He thought about the sons he had. Three of them. He could still remember every single bit of memory watching them grew up, raising them into the men they had become. He remembered them all: the first word, the first step, teaching them how to ride bicycles, kindergarten, elementary school, high school, girl problem and guy problem for his middle son, graduations and the list went on. But the most important thing was their first discovery of their powers. They were perfect for him, he could not possibly care about anything more than his sons. The only thing he could not understand was why his sons never got along.
He tried to move but to no avail. Somehow, he could sense that the life in him was slowly fading. He attempted to scream for help but he choked. Slowly, he looked at the corner of the living room that he was in. Sitting next to the floor lamp was an old wooden chest. He pulled out his left hand as if he was trying to grab the chest. He let out a small chuckle. He didn’t know what was so funny but that was the only thing he could do, given the circumstance. He was perplexed that he could hold it this long before dying.
His heart pumped slower. Every second took his life away from his body. At this point, he could be drowning in his own blood. He lost so much blood he knew there was nothing he could do. Looking straight at the old wooden chest as he let out his final breath, he said “Sons, I’m sorry.”
8 comment(s):
aku lost kat ending..explain cepat ape dlm old wooden chest itu!! cepat iz cepat! hahahaha!
Haha. Mesti la kene ada cliffhanger, takleh la terus reveal sume. Hehe
this was interesting. I mean I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of fantasy/magic based stories so I can't comment much. I like how you described things but some linguistic aspects (punctuation, grammar) were a bit off. other than that, good first attempt! I give it an A :D
p/s: I think you should create a post (or put a widget at the sidebar) for something like a "glossary". it helps readers understand things without you having to bother your story line to explain :)
Thanks Nad. I know from the linguistics aspect I'm a bit off but I promise to improve. As for the glossary, maybe I'll put that widget to make it easier for the readers. Thanks!
aiyooo sengaje la kan nak aku selalu dtg sini..hahahah!
Bacalah Part 1 & 2 tu. huhu
this story reminds me of prue, piper n pheobe, the only difference is these three charmed ones are gentlemen, hehe. great prologue btwy! serious rasa mcm baca buku~
I was inspired to writw this story when I was in the gym. I wanted to write about something magical but klu tulis pasal girls cliché sgt. Huhu thanks! (^⌣^)
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